Saturday, March 28, 2009

Them Be Fightin' Words!

Pretty much my entire life has been centered around this one thing these past couple of weeks. I'm kind of going stir crazy. I realized I'm the last 8 o'c person to go through this, except Ryan. Ryan was smart, he got out while the going was still good. Anyway, I've been haunting the blog at all hours of the morning lately while trying to figure out the thought processes (or lack thereof) of the Zionists I'm reading about. I'm coming to realize just how hard it is to argue against really stupid arguments. My thesis has 5 body chapters to coincide with the 5 main points Zionists use to claim Israel and at least 3 of those could be answered with 'no.' Ahhhhh!! Why didn't I write my thesis about someone logical?

Speaking of logic, I just found an interesting quote on the internet "The pope may be the leader of the Roman Catholic Church but that doesn't make him a moral leader." Wow. Does this mean that religion should keeps its hands out of morals? I mean, good grief, all this time I thought there was a connection between the two. I'm so glad that I've be enlightened. Oh man, I'm already in a fighting mood, becuase I've been imersed in the Middle East for the last couple of months and now people are yelling at my pope! (Well that comment was mostly just stupid, but there were some other ones that made me almost punch my computer in the screen. Unfortuantely I couldn't comment back, because it was one of those you have to subscribe to it thing.)

So I've been a little punchy lately. Colin said something the other day and I gathered up all my thesis books and built a wall dividing the bedroom in half. I had the door, the closet, Moutain Dew, the computer, all the weapons and his half of the dresser. He had beef jerkey, most of the books, and my half of the dresser. Like a good Zionist, I made sure I had all the good stuff on my side. (I couldn't really do anything about the books and having the door on my side, I could get more beef jerkey.) As you can see, I've been in a very Middle East mindset. (Note: he apologized for whatever it was that he said and I took the wall down. Also, I was never actually mad at him, in case you were worried.)

I didn't see many of you when you were writing your thesises. I know Claire went nutty, but what else is new? :D Are there any funny thesis stories out there?


  1. Haha! My thesis story has gone around the block a few times, but I'll tell it again in case you've never heard it.

    I wrote my thesis under Dr. William H Marshner the Great (long may he reign), and it was on Fr. Feeney and his literal interpretation of "There is no salvation outside the [Catholic] Church." He liked the subject and he essentially said, "Go." So I did. The summer before the first semester of my senior year, I began reading, and got through almost one half of the smallest book (about 75 pages of a 150-page book). Feeling quite good about myself, because that's 74 more pages then I've ever read in the summer, I began the first semester of my senior year. I officially began writing, and slowly became more and more of a recluse, to the point where I practically didn't know that we had girls in the new freshman class. Well, no matter how long I worked on it in my room, I couldn't get anything done. No one was watching, and so I played video games.

    Realizing this flaw in my plan I moved to the library. Now I wouldn't play video games, right? I'm in public, people would catch me, so I had to be all business. Well, I didn't play video games. Instead, my imagination ran wild as I looked out the top-floor windows over the campus and saw (for what felt like the first time every time) the tops of trees, and dreamed of the possibility of flight.

    Slowly, I became less of a recluse, and soon, I had all but forgotten that I even had a thesis to do.

    Fall break rolls around, reality hits, and I have less time than I thought to write my thesis. I go to the McGlynn's house (as I usually did), and as luck would have it, the whole family was going to Gettysburg for the week. I was essentially house-sitting. On Sunday, I thought to myself, "I must get this done. No dilly-dallying." On Sunday, the McGlynns had made arrangements with the priest for me to serve Mass every day in their place, and so I formulated a plan from this: I was going to get up early, go to daily Mass, say a rosary in the church, and come back to the house and work. On Sunday afternoon, I made a Holy Hour -- I brought along Denzinger and alternated between reading it and praying.

    Denzinger is quite the good read. It's huge, but awesome. If you ever needed to learn what the Church has said about something but don't have time to search through Councils, check Denzinger. It Is Awesome. I discovered the Church's ruling on the validity of Baptism when beer replaced water...

    So the McGlynns left Sunday evening, and I had the house to myself. I walked over to the local Giant and picked myself up a large bottle of off-dry red wine (I think Rossio? whatever, it was HUGE -- I think "jug" is more appropriate than "bottle") and a cheese focaccia bread. Then I went to sleep.

    Monday morning, day 1, I woke up as planned and served Mass. The priest though I was a seminarian and asked me to assist with the distribution of Communion at the last possible second when he handed me the ciborium after he gave me Holy Communion, but I had to tell him that my hands were not consecrated to perform such a role. After Mass, I said the Rosary, worried about the time the whole prayer, and then rushed back. I passed by a coffee shop, picked up the biggest mocha they had, and in the 10 minute drive back, I had practically finished it off. I fired up the laptop, set my books out, grabbed a large table glass usually used for water and filled it with wine.

    The inspiration began almost immediately.

    By 12:30PM (3.5 hours later), the glass was empty. I opened the focaccia, cut it into slices, put a few on a plate, refilled the glass with wine, and took a quick breather before lunch. I went outside, stretched, enjoyed several deep breaths of real outside air, did some moderate exercise (push-ups, sit-ups, stretching), and then sat down to start work again. Along comes 6:30PM in what felt like no time flat. I looked at my thesis, my books, my glass and plate. The glass of wine lasted until 6:15PM, and the focaccia was half-gone. My books had been read almost all the way through. My thesis had somehow gone from 5 pages (which took me a month-and-a-half to write) to 13 pages. Should I keep going? Why not? I stood up.

    My legs said, "No standing for you!"

    So, I found that my legs had stopped responding to commands from my mind. After really thinking about it, I could actually stand and walk, but it wasn't so much walking as ambling. I was drunk from the waist down. Speaking of the waist down, I needed to go. I hadn't been to the bafroom all day.

    I decided, "No more for today." I did some pleasure reading, and went to bed at 8PM.

    With the success of Monday, Tuesday-Friday, I followed the same pattern. Up at 7, shower, Mass at 8, rosary following Mass (and by Wednesday, I stopped checking the time after every other Hail Mary -- I finally realized that I was on my own time), coffee shop where I picked up something new in the largest they had every day, finish it by the time I got back, first table glass of wine in the morning, go outside to stretch and put in some moderate exercise, second glass lasted the afternoon, finished by 6:30, pleasure reading until 8, bed. I had to go buy a new focaccia on Tuesday evening.

    On Tuesday, I was up to page 20.

    On Wednesday, I was up to page 30.

    On Thursday, I was up to page 38.

    On Friday, I was up to page 40 and was formatting all the footnotes correctly when the McGlynns came back home.

    Mrs. McGlynn flipped out. She had prepared me food to eat every day, which she had told me about and I had absent-mindedly forgotten. She flipped out again when she saw what I had replaced her food with. She was expecting to come home to an empty fridge, so they had done some shopping. LOL!

    The bulk of the work had been done in a week. During hell week of the play, I input the Greek characters into my thesis and was close to calling it done. My rough draft ended up being 41 pages, and Dr. Marshner made a couple suggestions which brought it to 42 pages (I think).

    Wanna know my grade?

  2. I wrote my thesis for Dr Lucky, in about a week. It was under page count and contained numerous typographical errors. I received a perfect score. My secret? Informative (and colorful) charts and graphs.

    I lucked out big time.

  3. PS I also mispelled 'Luckey' on the first draft.

  4. Ah thesis time. Such a magical time.

    With the history one, I actually wrote the whole thing in 1 1/2 weeks, starting at 6 or 7 pm, writing until midnight, and then stopping and going to bed. I had done most of my research before writing, and felt pretty confident, although I was constantly finding news stuff as I went along. The painful bit was finding out from Shannon that he wanted it closer to 30 pages rather than 40 (a painful realization when your thesis is at 43 pages). I had to edit it down before I even turned in the rough draft. But I turned it in on time, and there was much rejoicing.

    English thesis. . . This was almost completely different. I was working on it (that is, actually writing the thesis) throughout the semester, since Dr. Rice actually wanted me to turn in chapters before the rough draft. He had set up the little desk in his attic (which is something I will never forget) and would leave books there that I might be interested in using. I used most of them.

    This is why the thing was so freaking long. He kept mentioning stories, and I would go, hey, that's cool, and I would get the notes (type them up, of course, to have later) and take them and write the chapters. it was so huge, and the sad thing is that there is more information to be made into paper. That is, I have more research that could be used in the thesis.

    I really should write a book.

  5. Good stories guys. You have all lifted my spirits. Smitha, WOW. You're crazy. Actually, the same can go to Andrew.

    I just turned in my rough draft. It's totally not done and needs much work, but it's only worth about 10% of the grade and I kind of gave up. Matt, I'm having a similar problem as you. There is so much stuff that I want to put into it, I just don't have the time.