Friday, July 14, 2006

Story Time

Some of yous have asked about the picture I posted awhile back. I will now tell you. Quick time warp.

It's early spring 2006. I am in a car with Peachy, Quia, and the non-Carducci Liz. Liz is driving, Quia has shotgun and Peachy and I are in the back. It's a beautiful day and we're all in a good mood as we drive through the beautiful countryside on our way to play practice. Opening night is fast approaching and tensions are high, but in the safety of Liz's white car, we amuse ourselves with a game of yellow car. I am always a bit aprehensive about playing with Peachy, because he hits hard. But we had driven through FR and I had easily gotten the upper hand. We were now in the country and there were very few (like none) yellow cars. I had relaxed some, but still had my eyes peeled for yellow cars, as did Peachy and Quia.

I think we all saw the farm equiptment at the same time. Quia's mouth opened and Peach's arm poised to strike as I yelled, "No! Farm equipment doesn't count!" Quia looked at me curiously as Peachy slumped slightly, defeated. He thought for a second as sat up straighter again and looked as though he was going to punch me anyways. "No!" I said, "That is one of the very first rules of yellow car." Quia and Peachy looked at me curiously, so I continued. "Yellow car is limited to cars, trucks, jeeps, motorcylces, SUVs and the like. Oh, and Hummers get two hits, in case you didn't know. School buses and farm equipment don't count." Peachy opened his mouth to protest. "Let me explain," I said. "Farm equipment isn't allowed, because one of my friends back home lives near a cat dealership and we would be black and blue if we ever tried. And in an attempt to keep the rules universal, it applies to all farm equipment." I stopped. Everyone in the car was staring at me. Even Liz was looking in the rear view mirror. I looked from Peach to Quia and back again. "Really, there are a lot of cats there and I think we'd probably kill each other." I thought they doubted the amount of cats and thought Meche and I to be wusses or something.

Silence continued. Liz had finally put her eyes back on the road, but Peach and Quia still looked at me with great confusion. Finally, after what seemed to be minutes (probably half a minute max), Peachy looked at me and said, "Your friend lives by a cat dealership." It was my turn to look at him funny. "Well, yes. I guess not right by it. I mean, you pass it on the way to her house. She lives out of town." He continued to look at me. "A cat dealership?" Then it hit me. He may be an Eagle Scout, but that doesn't mean he knows farm equipment. Rand and I once tried to explain what a combine was to someone at Christendom, so I guess this wasn't too strange. "Yes, Peachy, a cat dealership. You know, Butler?" He shook his head. "Bobcat?" At that he looked startled. "Oh come on Peachy, you know what a cat is." He gave me a very strange look and gave a tentative, "Meow." I have laughed very hard in my life before. I've laughed till my face hurt, stomach hurt, till I wasn't breathing in anymore, till I cried, and yes, even to the point of wetting my pants. Granted the last two did not happen in that car. Despite that, I think that may have been one of the hardest laughs I'd had in a very long time. After I started laughing, Quia and Liz joined in. Peachy even began to laugh, although he didn't seem to know what about.

Once I'd regained my breath, I looked at a now thoroughly confused Peachy and said, "No, Peach. A cat is short for caterpillar. It's a piece of farm or road construction equipment. Like a back hoe or skid steer or front loader." It took a few more minutes of straightening out, but eventually Peachy was consouled with the fact that we do not sell kittens in dealerships. And we do not paint them yellow and put them on display on the roadside. Maybe when cow tipping losses it's fun, but not for now.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. I feel better now, knowing the wonderful story behind the cat dealership.

    Heehee. I can sooo see Peachy's face.

    Where is he, btw???

  3. JMJ

    Hahahahaha :-) those were the days;-) that was soooo funny;-)

  4. I wasn't there, so I don't remember the faces at the original event. However, I do remember the faces at the retelling of the event in the same car.

  5. Oh come on... I, knew what a cat was, and I've never lived in the midwest. (Southwest sure, ask me what an arroyo or luminaria is.)A Cat is a bulldozer, backhoe, crane, Abrams M1 (kidding), you name it. It's what we used to remove old stumps from three feet under the earth in order to plant weeds. Of course, as farm equipment, I've never really thought of, though I probably should have.