Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Glory of Eireann

Alrighty boys, (and girls). The last semester is old hat. Next semester is all clean and shiny new with no mistakes in it. So, no shennanigans from last semester, or you'll have the Irish Mafia and Sinn Fein on your doorstep ready to whack you with knotty shilleileighs! No dramatics, or we Irish will waltz your Matilda for a good dunking in the Shenandoah river, and then laugh at you for the sight will be roariously funny indeed. Yes, the Gael is back to lead the spirit of Christendom to restore all things in Irish. Ah, the civilizing influences of the Celt. Yes, where would Christendom be without the Gael!

We Irish are the greatest lovers, poets, dramatists, drinkers, romantics, musicians, missionaries, fighters the world has ever seen! And if you be not blessed to be apart of God's second chosen people, you may have honorary membership through God's Catholic Church. I won't go so far as to say that God founded the Church so that all men might become Irish. But the true Irishman feels the Faith running in his bones and in his music, and the true Catholic is pretty connected to the true Irishman, and thus it's pretty close. I can't explain it, since it's a mystery, but there you have it, and you'll just have to take it on Faith.

Now, I know there will be those who will take issue with me on the otherwise very clear high honor the Celt must naturaly take over the other peoples of the world. I can see the French saying, "Eldest daughter of the Church", and the Italians (Sicilians included, but with the main difference that you don't want to prolonge an argument) saying "We have Rome and the Pope!" (actually, they'd say alot more, and even a crafty Irishman must admit that he can never outalk an Italian), Greeks that they have democracy, Germans that they have the Pope, Holy Roman Emperors, Franz II of the House of Stuart, and will rule the world, I mean run the world, scratch that...Poles that they fought two wars, lost both, then defeated their enemies with only one man: the Polish Pope, the list goes on and on! Yet, Ireland! Eireann! That name is so sweet. So, smile! We Irish can't help that we're great. We know yous all are great in your own way too, but we share our heritage with yous through the Church. So feel lucky.

Anyway, the Celt has risen again! So finish whatever needs to be done for friendly reconciliation. If you're not the first to do so, then do it. And we happy Irish shall greet yous, when yous all return. God bless, you, and God bless, Eireann!

p.s. This is a joke.


  1. Now that's the Pete I know.

    Yes, Ireland is awesome.

  2. JMJ
    *laughter* well I'm a quarter irish...that counts for something! :-)

  3. Erin go bragh! :D