Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Bath Time

Wow, so World War III has just happened in my house. Honestly, I haven't felt this beat up since in got into a fist fight with a football player when I was a "wise fool" the first time around. Or maybe when "my" horse & I had a dispute as to whether or not we were going over a jump. No, I think this tops them all. The tale begins quite harmlessly. Mum asked me to vacuum. No big deal, that was easily done. And the potatoes needed to be boiled and dishes washed. Not hard. So far it's a fairly normal day. Oh, and the cat needed to be washed. Bells rang in my head & I saw my life flash before my eyes. While I still living at home, Emery got a bath every week or two, & though she hated it & put up a fight every time, it got to be fairly routine. But since I've been gone, she's only had a couple of baths. I knew this wouldn't be easy. She still has all her claws & knows how to use them.
I knew if I even wanted to get her into the bathroom, I'd have to be stealthy. I got the bath water & towel ready & then waited a bit. After spending a bit on the computer, I called the cat. She looked over at me & squeaked. I talked to her cheerfully as I walked over to pick her up. She let me do so with ease. I thought maybe this would be easier than I had first thought. But as we got close to the bathroom I felt her claws sink into my shoulder & she began to wriggle. Maybe not.
With great effort I opened the bathroom door while still holding the now flailling feline. Once we got in the bathroom she began squeaking & screaming (this cat doesn't know how to meow) & clawing at anything she could, namely my arms. Once I got her in the tub, she seemed to be resigned to her fate & sat nicely. I breathed a sigh of relief & reached for the shampoo. At that moment she took a flying leap out of the tub. I saw her out of the corner of my eye & threw myself in her path. Water splashed everywhere as she slammed into my front & slid back into the tub. She's a tricksy cat, she is. After that, shampoo went well. As I was rinsing her, she made another jump, this one landed her on my head. I too tardily grabbed for her & caught her as she landed on my head, her front claws hooked on the back of my shirt, & her back legs dangled in front of my face. She began furiously trying to climb down my back, but I had finally gotten a good hold on her middle & she only succeeded in bunching up my shirt around my shoulders. I began yanking on her, trying to detach the disgruntled cat from my head. With her claws still firmly embedded in my flesh, I managed to slid her from my back, down my neck, until her claws caught on the back of my ears & she would go no further. We were in a stalemate. Pull as I might, I couldn't get her to move & struggle as she would, she made no progress. We both realized our predicament & stopped fighting. As I knelt there, I thought about my situation & how I must look. There I was kneeling over a bath tub with a soaking wet cat laying belly down on my head, her claws hooked to the back of my ears & her feet dangling in front of me. I was soaked, now, too, & my clothes were disheveled. I began to laugh. And laugh & laugh. My whole body shook with convulsions as I cracked up at the thought of my ridiculous situation. This turned out to be a pretty good thing, because it loosened Emery's hold & I was able to abstract the still irrate kitty from my head without too much more damage to my epidermis (& dermis!). The rest of the bath went fairly uneventful, though she gave me a look that could only be interperated one way. It was a look of, "I am going to kill you in your sleep." *Sigh* The love of a cat.

Why do cats hate water so much?


  1. You should try grabbing her by her neck skin next time, that way she can't claw at your arm.

  2. Ha! You're a real comedian, Ry. You try it that way.